Bad News: God Really IS Watching Your Every Move
In a recent discovery reported by NASA, the "Eye of God," as some have dubbed it, seems to be lurking somewhere in the Helix Nebula. NASA spokesman Dan Kern denies any relationship to the media-shy deity, but both believers and non-believers disagree.
"I think it's nice that God has blue eyes," Shirley van der Hyde told reporters late Wednesday afternoon. "It definitely proves that he's Aryan."
"It also proves that he's a Cyclops!" retorted a man standing nearby, who declined to give his name.
In related news, a group of picketers outside the White House touted signs emblazoned with the likes of: "We haven't done anything wrong! Give Americans their privacy," and "Down with the Celestial Patriot Act."